Completely normal MRI!!!! :) Yay!!!! No evidence of ANY disease!
(((I have also started a family blog - in case I haven't told everyone. http://www.themeisnerfamily.blogspot.com.)))
Monday, May 12, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
6 month MRI
Wow! Where has the time gone?!? On Wednesday, May 7th, I had my 6 month follow-up MRI (back in November I had my 1st mammogram). I am still waiting the results. The techs said 2 days but I went Wednesday night so I bet I will here something Monday. I will post again then.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
As my one year anniversary approaches...
January 8th will mark the one year anniversary of my diagnosis. As this date approaches, I cannot definitively say exactly how I feel about it. I am conflicted. I heard a story somewhere about a woman who compared the date of her diagnosis to her own personal September 11th. Of course the magnitude of that day cannot be directly related to one person's struggles but on that day the country lost something...just like I did on January 8th. Innocence was lost. The feeling of security was something you didn't have to think about on a daily basis. You just felt it. You assumed some sense of invincibility. At 28 did I really have to have this life altering, helath crisis???
January 8th is the day my sense of security and innocence was taken from me by cancer. Cancer, no matter if it's in its early stages or incurable, causes you to live a life full of doubt, what ifs and uncertainties. I play the what if game in my head all the time. What if I didn't get up that night when I felt the lump to feed Collin? What if Collin was never born? Would I have found it? What kind of outcome would there have been if it was found later? What would happen to my family if this was all worse and I wasn't here? I wasn't due for my annual physical until July that year and I wasn't doing regular exams on myself. These thoughts have come to me less than in the beginning but they are still powerful.
The thought of cancer - and the seriousness of it - doesn't consume my every waking moment anymore thankfully. I am still scared and anxious about all of it...mostly about how uncertain life can be. I am glad that I don't wake up and go to bed thinking about it. I am able to think of it for the most part as a bump in the road. And let me tell you it better remain that way.
Here's to the year ahead....health and happiness to all!!!
January 8th is the day my sense of security and innocence was taken from me by cancer. Cancer, no matter if it's in its early stages or incurable, causes you to live a life full of doubt, what ifs and uncertainties. I play the what if game in my head all the time. What if I didn't get up that night when I felt the lump to feed Collin? What if Collin was never born? Would I have found it? What kind of outcome would there have been if it was found later? What would happen to my family if this was all worse and I wasn't here? I wasn't due for my annual physical until July that year and I wasn't doing regular exams on myself. These thoughts have come to me less than in the beginning but they are still powerful.
The thought of cancer - and the seriousness of it - doesn't consume my every waking moment anymore thankfully. I am still scared and anxious about all of it...mostly about how uncertain life can be. I am glad that I don't wake up and go to bed thinking about it. I am able to think of it for the most part as a bump in the road. And let me tell you it better remain that way.
Here's to the year ahead....health and happiness to all!!!
Thursday, November 8, 2007
All Clear!
I had my first follow-up mammogram since my diagnosis in January. I was soooo anxious for the past couple weeks leading up to this. I have had a headache from grinding my teeth because that's what I do when I am nervous.
I had two views on each side and then a magnified one right on my scar. The worst part is waiting afterwards which I forgot about. While still wearing your johnny, you are put in a waiting room with all of the other women who just had their mammograms. It took about 1 1/2 hours for the radiologist to read the films. I was lucky to be in a room with very fun women. The staff said that they had never seen such a room that was so filled with laughter!
The radiologist who read my films was the same one that did my work up in January - Dr. Semine. He is the director of the Women's Imaging Center at Newton-Wellesley and a wonderful man. He remembered me and when I met with him to go over my results he made sure to check in with me about the past year. All my films were clear - nothing to worry about!
My next exam will be in 6 months (May) when I will have an MRI. 6 months from then (next November) I will have another mammogram.
I had two views on each side and then a magnified one right on my scar. The worst part is waiting afterwards which I forgot about. While still wearing your johnny, you are put in a waiting room with all of the other women who just had their mammograms. It took about 1 1/2 hours for the radiologist to read the films. I was lucky to be in a room with very fun women. The staff said that they had never seen such a room that was so filled with laughter!
The radiologist who read my films was the same one that did my work up in January - Dr. Semine. He is the director of the Women's Imaging Center at Newton-Wellesley and a wonderful man. He remembered me and when I met with him to go over my results he made sure to check in with me about the past year. All my films were clear - nothing to worry about!
My next exam will be in 6 months (May) when I will have an MRI. 6 months from then (next November) I will have another mammogram.
More Genetic Testing
Two weeks ago I met with another genetic counselor at Mass General upon the recommendation of Dr. Goss, aka Dr. McDreamy. Long story short...the genetic testing I had done previous came back with a result of "no mutation detected" for the BRAC 1 and the BRCA 2 gene (breast cancer and ovarian cancer genes). I had the short sequencing done which is about 85% accurate. The genetic counselor at MGH told me about the full sequencing test which in combination with the other one would be about 99% accurate. I went ahead and opted to get that done. The results came back the same - no mutation detected. Good news!
We also discussed another gene called p53. This one is not so good. It is a very rare genetic mutation that only a couple hundred people in the world are known to have. It increases your risk of brain (any type) cancer, breast cancer, adrenal cancer, childhood leukemia and sarcomas (soft tissue and bone cancers). With my genetic history, she beleives there is a 10% chance of me carrying this gene. I did not want to get tested for it. There is nothing you can do about it if you are found to be a carrier so what's the point? We both agreed that it would cause needless anxiety and worry and it is best for now to just forget about it. It would be nice to know I wasn't a carrier but testing isn't done that way...
We also discussed another gene called p53. This one is not so good. It is a very rare genetic mutation that only a couple hundred people in the world are known to have. It increases your risk of brain (any type) cancer, breast cancer, adrenal cancer, childhood leukemia and sarcomas (soft tissue and bone cancers). With my genetic history, she beleives there is a 10% chance of me carrying this gene. I did not want to get tested for it. There is nothing you can do about it if you are found to be a carrier so what's the point? We both agreed that it would cause needless anxiety and worry and it is best for now to just forget about it. It would be nice to know I wasn't a carrier but testing isn't done that way...
Friday, August 17, 2007
Radiation....Check!
Radiation is officially over! Today was my last treatment and Jeffrey came with me to say his goodbyes to his new "friends." The valet men, the security officer, the receptionists, the therapists, the nurses, the patients...there was not one person there left unplayed with!
So now I wait until my one month follow-ups before I go back to the doctor again. What will I do now with all of my free time?!?!?
So now I wait until my one month follow-ups before I go back to the doctor again. What will I do now with all of my free time?!?!?
Friday, August 10, 2007
I have my own "McDreamy"
You may not know but I am a huge fan of the TV show, "Grey's Anatomy." For those of you who are not familiar with the show, there is a very handsome doctor on it (Patrick Dempsey) who was called "McDreamy" in one of the episodes which has stuck with him. I am happy to say that I now have my own McDreamy.
Last week, my radiation oncologist sent me to see a medical oncologist at MGH that specializes in breast cancer and hormone (endocrine) therapy. My tumor tested was found to be "weakly positive" for progesterone receptors so I questioned whether or not I should undergo endocrine therapy.
So I was waiting in the exam room after speaking with McDreamy's Nurse Practitioner when in walks this dreamboat with a stunning English accent. He spent about an hour with me going over my history (which he already knew before he came in), explaining what he thought and possible treatment options.
McDreamy (he actually has a real name, Dr. Goss) told me that he strongly believes there is a genetic component to my story. He is having the Genetics Department at MGH review my genetic testing to be sure the long version of the test was done. He rattled off some technical link that he feels may be the culprit because to him it is too suspicious that my grandmother had breast cancer and my mother's type of brain cancer may have some link to this genetic mutation. He explained that I may not have tested positive for a mutation in the BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 genes (the ones they test for and know of the direct link) but I may have a mutation in an undiscovered genetic link. He went on to explain to me what having a genetic mutation of that type really means. Think of your body like a car manufacturing plant. Every cell in your body is a car. Somewhere during the assembly process, the breast cells in your body had something left off. Some may be missing the horn which isn't that big of a deal but some may be missing the engine which is. Every cell isn't quite right which is why it is so important to know for sure if this is genetically linked somehow. In random cancer, it's like a car accident. You go in and clean it up and that's that. In a genetic cancer, there is something faulty everywhere.
After we finished that discussion, we started to talk about the hormone therapy. He offered me a clinical trial but we decided to take what the clinical trial was doing and tailor it ourselves. So I will be taking Tamoxifen for 2 years and then switch to an Aromitase Inhibitor with ovarian suppression for 5 more years with the possibility of extending that length of time. He was so thorough with his explanation of how this all worked.
A woman's body produces estrogen (I know we were talking about progesterone but progesterone doesn't work without estrogen) from two sources - the ovaries and fat. Tamoxifen blocks the door to the cancer cell so that no hormones can enter. His analogy for this one was to think of the ovaries and fat as the "kitchen" and the cancer cells as the "dining hall." The kitchen will still be cooking but the door to the dining hall will be blocked so no one can eat. When I switch to the Aromitase Inhibitor with ovarian suppression, the kitchen will be closed and the dining hall will be blocked. Make sense?
Dr. Goss' business card is filled to capacity with his titles which are really impressive. When I made my follow up appointment with him (in October) his secretary asked where I was coming from. She said that she always tells people who are travelling from far away to see him to buy the travel insurance because he travels all over the world and might need to cancel - he's that good!
Last week, my radiation oncologist sent me to see a medical oncologist at MGH that specializes in breast cancer and hormone (endocrine) therapy. My tumor tested was found to be "weakly positive" for progesterone receptors so I questioned whether or not I should undergo endocrine therapy.
So I was waiting in the exam room after speaking with McDreamy's Nurse Practitioner when in walks this dreamboat with a stunning English accent. He spent about an hour with me going over my history (which he already knew before he came in), explaining what he thought and possible treatment options.
McDreamy (he actually has a real name, Dr. Goss) told me that he strongly believes there is a genetic component to my story. He is having the Genetics Department at MGH review my genetic testing to be sure the long version of the test was done. He rattled off some technical link that he feels may be the culprit because to him it is too suspicious that my grandmother had breast cancer and my mother's type of brain cancer may have some link to this genetic mutation. He explained that I may not have tested positive for a mutation in the BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 genes (the ones they test for and know of the direct link) but I may have a mutation in an undiscovered genetic link. He went on to explain to me what having a genetic mutation of that type really means. Think of your body like a car manufacturing plant. Every cell in your body is a car. Somewhere during the assembly process, the breast cells in your body had something left off. Some may be missing the horn which isn't that big of a deal but some may be missing the engine which is. Every cell isn't quite right which is why it is so important to know for sure if this is genetically linked somehow. In random cancer, it's like a car accident. You go in and clean it up and that's that. In a genetic cancer, there is something faulty everywhere.
After we finished that discussion, we started to talk about the hormone therapy. He offered me a clinical trial but we decided to take what the clinical trial was doing and tailor it ourselves. So I will be taking Tamoxifen for 2 years and then switch to an Aromitase Inhibitor with ovarian suppression for 5 more years with the possibility of extending that length of time. He was so thorough with his explanation of how this all worked.
A woman's body produces estrogen (I know we were talking about progesterone but progesterone doesn't work without estrogen) from two sources - the ovaries and fat. Tamoxifen blocks the door to the cancer cell so that no hormones can enter. His analogy for this one was to think of the ovaries and fat as the "kitchen" and the cancer cells as the "dining hall." The kitchen will still be cooking but the door to the dining hall will be blocked so no one can eat. When I switch to the Aromitase Inhibitor with ovarian suppression, the kitchen will be closed and the dining hall will be blocked. Make sense?
Dr. Goss' business card is filled to capacity with his titles which are really impressive. When I made my follow up appointment with him (in October) his secretary asked where I was coming from. She said that she always tells people who are travelling from far away to see him to buy the travel insurance because he travels all over the world and might need to cancel - he's that good!
Update on Jeff's Dad
Bucky is doing better. He came home last Thursday and is improving slowly each day. He had the defibulator put in and continues with his dialysis treatments three times a week. His memory is getting better but it is still foggy at times. It will be a slow road ahead but at least he is moving forward.
One More Week Left!
After today's treatment, I will only have next week to get through. My skin has held up great - it only looks like I have a tan in the treatment field. A lot of people have a hard time and suffer some burns from the radiation. Fatigue has set in though. I am ready to call it a night by 8pm and sleep very soundly. It should improve within a month or two after I finish up.
Jeffrey loves coming with me to MGH. There is a ton of construction going on around the building we go to which I think we could spend all day watching if it were up to him. He loves driving past Fenway (Wally is on a billboard there) and the Garden and through the "big huge" tunnel.
Jeffrey loves coming with me to MGH. There is a ton of construction going on around the building we go to which I think we could spend all day watching if it were up to him. He loves driving past Fenway (Wally is on a billboard there) and the Garden and through the "big huge" tunnel.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Another Family Crisis
Last week we had a pretty bad scare with Jeff's father. Most of you know that he has kidney failure and has been on dialysis now for a few of months. Last Monday Jeff stopped by his parents' house after a job and his father collapsed and went into what they think was a seizure. Jeff called 911 and the EMTs, who arrived in minutes, had to actually shock his heart and jump start him again. They are estiamting he was out for four minutes.
He was rushed to Leonard Morse Hospital in Natick and spent Monday and Tuesday there in the ICU. No answers to what had happened. We decided that he had to move to a Boston hospital and put forth the motions to get him transfered to Mass General (that's where his kidney transplant team is too). Tuesday night around 9:30pm, he headed in to MGH via transport ambulance.
To make a long story short, he was admitted to the Cardiac Step Down Care Unit and was diagnosed with ventricular tachacardia (VT) - a very serious arythmia. Most patients who go into cardiac arrest with VT do not survive. Bucky (Jeff's dad) is like a cat - he has 9 lives. He is very lucky and we thank God Jeff was there when it happened.
He is still at MGH and is getting better. His strength is coming back but he is suffering from some short term memory issues. That too has improved dramtically from where he started off last week but he has more recovering to do.
Sometime today, he will have a defibulator inserted that will essentially shock his heart back into a normal rythm if it detects any sign of the VT. After that, we are unsure how much longer he will be in the hospital or what the follow up care will be.
He was rushed to Leonard Morse Hospital in Natick and spent Monday and Tuesday there in the ICU. No answers to what had happened. We decided that he had to move to a Boston hospital and put forth the motions to get him transfered to Mass General (that's where his kidney transplant team is too). Tuesday night around 9:30pm, he headed in to MGH via transport ambulance.
To make a long story short, he was admitted to the Cardiac Step Down Care Unit and was diagnosed with ventricular tachacardia (VT) - a very serious arythmia. Most patients who go into cardiac arrest with VT do not survive. Bucky (Jeff's dad) is like a cat - he has 9 lives. He is very lucky and we thank God Jeff was there when it happened.
He is still at MGH and is getting better. His strength is coming back but he is suffering from some short term memory issues. That too has improved dramtically from where he started off last week but he has more recovering to do.
Sometime today, he will have a defibulator inserted that will essentially shock his heart back into a normal rythm if it detects any sign of the VT. After that, we are unsure how much longer he will be in the hospital or what the follow up care will be.
3 Down, 3 More to Go
I have officially finished my third week of radiation as of last Friday. I am now halfway done. It really isn't bad. For the most part I am enjoying my quiet ride into Boston. Traffic has been a hassel only a couple of times and most often I get there in about 40 minutes. The treatment itself is quick. More times than not, they take me in early and I am done within a few minutes. It is so quick - the machine is on for about 17 seconds from the front and then another 17 seconds from the back. Mondays they take a couple of X-rays to make sure I am lined up correctly. Every Tuesday I see the doctor so that day does take longer.
All in all, not too bad.
All in all, not too bad.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk
In my continuing efforts to make the most of this experience, I have decided to head up a team (Team Meisner - not very original, I know) to walk in...
The American Cancer Society's
Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk
October 14th, 2007 - Boston
"ODE TO THE WALK"
an original poem by Anne Meisner
Lace up your shoes;
Put on your hat;
We will walk for a cure
And that will be that.
Make a donation,
Or join our team,
One dollar
Is not as small as it seems.
Any amount
Will help out a lot,
What do you say?
Give it a shot!
(Can you tell I have been reading too many Dr. Suess books to Jeffrey???)
This October, many of my friends and family members will walk on "Team Meisner" in the Making Strides Walk in Boston. Please click on this link to make a donation in support of Team Meisner or to find out more information about this event.
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/anne.meisner - OR -http://main.acsevents.org/goto/team.meisner
Consider joining Team Meisner on the walk! We are looking for as many members as we can. The more people on the team, the more money we can potentially raise!
Again, no amount is too small to make a difference.
Thanks!!!
The American Cancer Society's
Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk
October 14th, 2007 - Boston
"ODE TO THE WALK"
an original poem by Anne Meisner
Lace up your shoes;
Put on your hat;
We will walk for a cure
And that will be that.
Make a donation,
Or join our team,
One dollar
Is not as small as it seems.
Any amount
Will help out a lot,
What do you say?
Give it a shot!
(Can you tell I have been reading too many Dr. Suess books to Jeffrey???)
This October, many of my friends and family members will walk on "Team Meisner" in the Making Strides Walk in Boston. Please click on this link to make a donation in support of Team Meisner or to find out more information about this event.
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/anne.meisner - OR -http://main.acsevents.org/goto/team.meisner
Consider joining Team Meisner on the walk! We are looking for as many members as we can. The more people on the team, the more money we can potentially raise!
Again, no amount is too small to make a difference.
Thanks!!!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Lyndon Byers
So again I am amazed at the continuing out pouring of support. Jeff and Steve were at Pepperocini's last Sunday and hung out with LB - Lyndon Byers, former Bruins hockey player and current 107.3 WAAF DJ. They got to talking (nothing new for Jeff) and Jeff gave him the scoop on our situation. He immediately,, without any hesitation, set to work to hold a fundraiser to help us with the costs we have accumulated from all of the medical treatments I have had. We have pretty good health insurance but cancer is expensive.
We don't have many details...it is only in the planning stages. What LB suggested was to hold a golf tournament with a dinner and raffle afterwards - sometime in October. He has already called Sandy Burr without us even asking him to. He is going to announce whatever we decide to do on the radio and get some of his celebrity friends to join in the festivities. What the?!?!?!
I am yet again overwhelmed. The support of my family and friends have been outstanding. Now the support of strangers can be added to the list.
Stay tuned for more information......
We don't have many details...it is only in the planning stages. What LB suggested was to hold a golf tournament with a dinner and raffle afterwards - sometime in October. He has already called Sandy Burr without us even asking him to. He is going to announce whatever we decide to do on the radio and get some of his celebrity friends to join in the festivities. What the?!?!?!
I am yet again overwhelmed. The support of my family and friends have been outstanding. Now the support of strangers can be added to the list.
Stay tuned for more information......
Thursday, July 12, 2007
The 14mph drive into Boston
What fun! I can't tell you how I would rather spend my summer days...I love sitting on the Mass Pike sucking up the fumes of the car in front of me. Will this cause more health problems????
Anyway, it took my 90 minutes to make the 22 mile drive into Mass General yesterday for my radiation appointment. That averages out to be driving 14mph. I left myself an hour to get there and I ended up being a half hour late. If you know me at all, being late causes me extreme anxiety and frustration. I called ahead to let "The Team" know but they didn't care. It all works out in the end they said so not to worry about it.
The actual machine is on for a total of 30 seconds (I really did count yesterday) - 15 from the front and 15 from the back. I joked with the nurses and technicians that I was going to sit in the waiting room so the trip seemed worth the time. It is worth it I know but still. Do we need to do construction on a major road during rush hour???? I'm no traffic pattern flow expert but....please.
I got a "secret" route in for today from a friend who works at Mass General so hopefully we will avoid the mess of yesterday. Monday and Tuesday's ride was a breeze so I guess it will really average itself out over time.
If anyone has the day off and wants to spend some real quality time with me in the car, please let me know! I would love the company!
Anyway, it took my 90 minutes to make the 22 mile drive into Mass General yesterday for my radiation appointment. That averages out to be driving 14mph. I left myself an hour to get there and I ended up being a half hour late. If you know me at all, being late causes me extreme anxiety and frustration. I called ahead to let "The Team" know but they didn't care. It all works out in the end they said so not to worry about it.
The actual machine is on for a total of 30 seconds (I really did count yesterday) - 15 from the front and 15 from the back. I joked with the nurses and technicians that I was going to sit in the waiting room so the trip seemed worth the time. It is worth it I know but still. Do we need to do construction on a major road during rush hour???? I'm no traffic pattern flow expert but....please.
I got a "secret" route in for today from a friend who works at Mass General so hopefully we will avoid the mess of yesterday. Monday and Tuesday's ride was a breeze so I guess it will really average itself out over time.
If anyone has the day off and wants to spend some real quality time with me in the car, please let me know! I would love the company!
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Hair Status
I feel like Collin and I are in a race to see who can get to their first haircut the soonest. He's winning. His hair blows in the breeze a little. Mine not so much. I still need to wear a hat or put sunscreen on my head so it doesn't get fried.
I by no means have any resemblence to having a full head of hair, but it is growing. I can even pull what I have - and it doesn't fall out! It's a weird feeling. It's coming just in time for Collin to start the new milestone of grabbing, pulling, and holding onto it for dear life.
I haven't had hair since mid-March now and have gotten very used to it. Enjoyed it actually. The sensation of pulling it with resistance is pretty cool. It's all fuzzy and light but there is some darker, coarser growth coming in. My head looks dirty at first glance but upon further and closer inspection one can see...I don't know how to feel about this. On one hand I am excited beyond words that I will have hair again soon. On the other hand, I am dreading the in-between phases hair goes through when one tries to grow it out. I do remember my bang phase and how awkward it was growing them out. I am also dreading having to do my hair again. Right now there is no though given to my hair. Just which bandana to wear with my outfit. I don't have to decide to wear it up or down? Curly or straight? Should I sport the mullett? Kidding on that last one.
I by no means have any resemblence to having a full head of hair, but it is growing. I can even pull what I have - and it doesn't fall out! It's a weird feeling. It's coming just in time for Collin to start the new milestone of grabbing, pulling, and holding onto it for dear life.
I haven't had hair since mid-March now and have gotten very used to it. Enjoyed it actually. The sensation of pulling it with resistance is pretty cool. It's all fuzzy and light but there is some darker, coarser growth coming in. My head looks dirty at first glance but upon further and closer inspection one can see...I don't know how to feel about this. On one hand I am excited beyond words that I will have hair again soon. On the other hand, I am dreading the in-between phases hair goes through when one tries to grow it out. I do remember my bang phase and how awkward it was growing them out. I am also dreading having to do my hair again. Right now there is no though given to my hair. Just which bandana to wear with my outfit. I don't have to decide to wear it up or down? Curly or straight? Should I sport the mullett? Kidding on that last one.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Aaarrrggg...Shiver me timbers
Just a funny quote confirming that young children really don't have a filter on their mouths when they speak in the moment. While at the pond yesterday with the boys sporting my bandana, another little boy a little older than Jeffrey asked his mom, "Is that lady a pirate?" Too cute. I should have played along. I think his mom was embarrassed but honestly I didn't care. It's better than the "Thank God it's not me look" I get from many adults when I am out in public (especially when the boys are in tow). I'd rather talk about it than pretend no one notices. It's like that saying (I can't remember exactly how it goes) about not mentioning the elephant standing in the room. It's there but no one wants to acknowledge it for fear it wold make others uncomfortable.
Come to think of it, I am surprised that I haven't heard other little kids ask questions like that before.
Come to think of it, I am surprised that I haven't heard other little kids ask questions like that before.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Extra Beats and New Tattoos
I met with my cardiologist last week then spoke with her on the phone yesterday about the heart fluttering I have been having lately. The Holter Monitor did show that I have about 300 extra beats (that particular day) mostly coming from the upper part of my heart. Nothing worrisome but nonetheless. They do not really bother me and I do not have any other symptoms that go along with them so we decided not to start any medication at this point. If they do get worse or more frequent we will discuss starting a Beta Blocker. There is nothing structurally wrong with my heart. I will have another echocardiogram at some point in the upcoming months anyway because of the Adriamycin that was part of my chemo. That drug has shown to cause heart damage in a very small percentage of patients.
Today I went to Mass General for my radiation mapping. They have a really nice facility and the population there is more mixed with young and old unlike where I received my chemo (just given the location of being outside of Boston) it was an older crowd. After getting an initial scan, I got 3 new tattoos...they are about the size of a poppy seed and will mark the field where the radiation will take place. Some people from what I have read are very bothered by getting permanently marked this way. They say it's a constant reminder of the disease. Not me. My scar isn't going away and is much larger than these minuscule dots and I feel that this disease is a part now of who I am - good, bad, or indifferent.
I go on July 6th for a simulation run which basically is just like the radiation treatment without the machine turned on. The actual radiation will start on July 9th.
Jeff and I have signed up for the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk. Please visit the link on the right for more information or to see how you can sponsor Team Meisner! :)
Today I went to Mass General for my radiation mapping. They have a really nice facility and the population there is more mixed with young and old unlike where I received my chemo (just given the location of being outside of Boston) it was an older crowd. After getting an initial scan, I got 3 new tattoos...they are about the size of a poppy seed and will mark the field where the radiation will take place. Some people from what I have read are very bothered by getting permanently marked this way. They say it's a constant reminder of the disease. Not me. My scar isn't going away and is much larger than these minuscule dots and I feel that this disease is a part now of who I am - good, bad, or indifferent.
I go on July 6th for a simulation run which basically is just like the radiation treatment without the machine turned on. The actual radiation will start on July 9th.
Jeff and I have signed up for the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk. Please visit the link on the right for more information or to see how you can sponsor Team Meisner! :)
Friday, June 15, 2007
I'm no Chia Pet but...
I do have some definite peach fuzz growth on my head! It is so blond that you can only see it close up and in the light. But hey, I'll take it. Hopefully my eyelashes will take notice and start to fill-in again soon.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Check Chemo Off of the List!
I am now officially done with the chemo portion of my treatment plan! Applause please! (kidding) My hair should start to grow back in about 2 months. At least I will have built-in AC for the summer, no shaving, no frizzy hair to deal with in the lovely New England humidity either! All bonuses and perks of a job well done...
Back in January, my surgeon made a comparison of my treatment plan to the high school experience. He said that the surgery was like freshman year. Getting used to a new "school" (he meant the world of cancer), pretty easy, goes by quick, etc. Agreed. Chemo was sophomore year. Usually a pretty hard year all around - tough schedule, not the new kid anymore, a growing up year. Yup. Junior year is radiation. Not so bad anymore. Just getting through it until senior year begins, thinking about the future. Senior year is the fun and easier year. Yes, this is the time where reconstruction will take place. I'll spend this senior year getting ready for the road that comes after "high school" (and cancer treatment).
That road that I will find myself on is a little scary for me right now. I have mixed feelings about being through with chemo. Yes, I am thrilled not to have to go and get so much bloodwork, IVs, and medicine that can wear you down. I am not thrilled with the idea that there will be no more medicine flowing through my body targeting any stray cancer cells that might be there. That's the problem with this disease. It's microscopic. No one can tell me for sure that there isn't one rebel cell out there hiding in an ally waiting for it's opportunity. There most likely isn't any bad guys lurking around but the possibility does exist and scares me to think. I have a lot of things in my favor like being Stage 1, no lymph node involvement, the small tumor size, etc. But the bottom line is that there are no guarantees.
Radiation will tackle any cells that the surgery and chemo may have left behind in my right breast. So I will still be actively doing something to treat this disease. That makes me feel good. I also think I have all (or most) of my babysitting figured out for the 5 day a week treatment that begins July 9th and goes until August 17th. (If there is anyone out there that can be "on call," please let me know!!) Big stress of that task is now gone (for now).
After this treatment course, I will begin looking for a survivorship support group or some equivalent so I can see how other people in my situation are handling the uncertainties of the future without letting it consume their lives. Right now, cancer is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing before sleep takes over - with many more thoughts running through my mind during the day. Hopefully, this will lessen and more pleasant things will take over.
My hair will grow back, the dark circles under my eyes should improve once my anemia subsides, my energy level should return to normal (maybe awhile after radiation is over - a common side effect), and my boobs will be symmetrical once again :) when all of this is over. Essentially, I will look normal. I don't think I will ever feel 100% normal again though. This whole journey has changed me in ways that is truly difficult to put into words. In some ways, I am a better person because of all of this. I appreciate what I have much more and am enjoying the everyday things life has to offer. In other ways it has made me more uncertain and afraid of the future. Hopefully these feeling will also get pushed to a place in my mind where I visit less frequently. Time will tell...
Back in January, my surgeon made a comparison of my treatment plan to the high school experience. He said that the surgery was like freshman year. Getting used to a new "school" (he meant the world of cancer), pretty easy, goes by quick, etc. Agreed. Chemo was sophomore year. Usually a pretty hard year all around - tough schedule, not the new kid anymore, a growing up year. Yup. Junior year is radiation. Not so bad anymore. Just getting through it until senior year begins, thinking about the future. Senior year is the fun and easier year. Yes, this is the time where reconstruction will take place. I'll spend this senior year getting ready for the road that comes after "high school" (and cancer treatment).
That road that I will find myself on is a little scary for me right now. I have mixed feelings about being through with chemo. Yes, I am thrilled not to have to go and get so much bloodwork, IVs, and medicine that can wear you down. I am not thrilled with the idea that there will be no more medicine flowing through my body targeting any stray cancer cells that might be there. That's the problem with this disease. It's microscopic. No one can tell me for sure that there isn't one rebel cell out there hiding in an ally waiting for it's opportunity. There most likely isn't any bad guys lurking around but the possibility does exist and scares me to think. I have a lot of things in my favor like being Stage 1, no lymph node involvement, the small tumor size, etc. But the bottom line is that there are no guarantees.
Radiation will tackle any cells that the surgery and chemo may have left behind in my right breast. So I will still be actively doing something to treat this disease. That makes me feel good. I also think I have all (or most) of my babysitting figured out for the 5 day a week treatment that begins July 9th and goes until August 17th. (If there is anyone out there that can be "on call," please let me know!!) Big stress of that task is now gone (for now).
After this treatment course, I will begin looking for a survivorship support group or some equivalent so I can see how other people in my situation are handling the uncertainties of the future without letting it consume their lives. Right now, cancer is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing before sleep takes over - with many more thoughts running through my mind during the day. Hopefully, this will lessen and more pleasant things will take over.
My hair will grow back, the dark circles under my eyes should improve once my anemia subsides, my energy level should return to normal (maybe awhile after radiation is over - a common side effect), and my boobs will be symmetrical once again :) when all of this is over. Essentially, I will look normal. I don't think I will ever feel 100% normal again though. This whole journey has changed me in ways that is truly difficult to put into words. In some ways, I am a better person because of all of this. I appreciate what I have much more and am enjoying the everyday things life has to offer. In other ways it has made me more uncertain and afraid of the future. Hopefully these feeling will also get pushed to a place in my mind where I visit less frequently. Time will tell...
Just Getting it Checked
Back in 2001, I was experiencing some heart flutters that turned out to be mild SVT (supra-ventricular arrhythmia). No medication or follow-ups needed unless it got worse. I feel nothing else when it happens, just a flutter and then my heart "resets" itself to a regular beat again.
A few weeks ago I have noticed that it is happening much more often. Could be due to the physical stress my body is under from the treatments (and all of the the other stress - the kids, financial, emotional, etc.). Yesterday, my doctor ordered a Holter monitor for me to wear for 24 hours that will record every beat and rhythm. Of course no one can ever hear the flutter or see it on an EKG or echocardiogram because it never happens when I am actually at the doctor. I turn the monitor back in today and will meet with a cardiologist next Monday.
One of the first chemo drugs I was on - Adriamycin, can cause heart damage. It only happens to about 2% of all patients who take it. When I mentioned all of this last week to my nurse practitioner, she did say that if it was related to that, I would have other symptoms that would go along with it like shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness, etc. My doctor agreed and so this is the first step to just getting it checked out.
Last chemo day! I'll write more later.
A few weeks ago I have noticed that it is happening much more often. Could be due to the physical stress my body is under from the treatments (and all of the the other stress - the kids, financial, emotional, etc.). Yesterday, my doctor ordered a Holter monitor for me to wear for 24 hours that will record every beat and rhythm. Of course no one can ever hear the flutter or see it on an EKG or echocardiogram because it never happens when I am actually at the doctor. I turn the monitor back in today and will meet with a cardiologist next Monday.
One of the first chemo drugs I was on - Adriamycin, can cause heart damage. It only happens to about 2% of all patients who take it. When I mentioned all of this last week to my nurse practitioner, she did say that if it was related to that, I would have other symptoms that would go along with it like shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness, etc. My doctor agreed and so this is the first step to just getting it checked out.
Last chemo day! I'll write more later.
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